


hopeless but i'm trying

by pillowcreek



Category: Greater Boston (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Falling In Love, Hangover, M/M, Pining, Pre-Canon, Snowball Fight, Unrequited Love, emetophobia warning, wholesome family fun times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25833223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pillowcreek/pseuds/pillowcreek
Summary: Michael is a mess, but Leon is there for him. Always. And he loves him for it.
Relationships: Leon Stamatis/Michael Tate
Comments: 11
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from the song Hey by Egg 
> 
> I started this as a oneshot for Nano 2018, but it's currently sitting in my drafts at 14K and maybe halfway done? So it's a multi-chapter fic now.

“Alright everyone, we’re going to get started with a good old fashioned ice breaker.” Becky the overly excited RA tossed a hacky sack from hand to hand. “I’m going to throw you the ball and you’re going to say your name, your major, and one thing you’re really excited to get out of rez.”

A chorus of groans went up around the circle. Michael made a vague grumbling noise in an attempt to not stand out. He didn’t mind ice breakers really. He was almost looking forward to it. His roommate hadn’t been there when he’d moved in, and he’d rather figure out who he was sharing a room with for the next ten months sooner rather than later.

The ball made its way around the circle, and Michael began getting a sense of the type of people he’d be sharing a floor with for the next ten months. For example, there were the usual few boys who he could tell would most likely be pledging a frat if the way they purposefully chucked the ball high over people’s heads was any indication. His roommate seemed to be one of those. Apart from his roommate, only one student stood out: a fellow English major by the name of Leon. He was taller than even Michael and spoke completely monotonous, but he was in his program. Even if he was terrifying, there was the possibility of notes.

Michael jogged over to him after the ice breakers were over. “Hey!”

Leon looked startled for a second but quickly recovered. “Hello. Michael, right?”

“Yeah! And you’re… Leon? English major?”

“Yes.”

“Cool, me too! What classes are you taking?” Michael found himself tripping over his feet as he walked sideways, trying to keep up with Leon and watch him at the same time. He had an interesting face: all sharp angles and sternness.

Leon slowed down. “Journalism 101, Critical Practices, Reading the Past, Biomechanics, and Statistics 1.”

Michael stared at him. “You chose Biomechanics and Statistics as your electives?”

“Yes.”

“You’re going to die. Those are both so much work, why not just do Art History or Intro to Sociology?”

“Art History and Intro to Sociology are both valuable and hard classes, Michael,” Leon said, sounding almost disappointed.

“Yeah, yeah, of course, but like- Statistics? That’s so much math!” Michael said.

“It will help in understanding readership and strategically planning the best articles to publish.”

“So you’re going into journalism?” Michael guessed.

“That’s the goal.”

“Well, I guess we’ll be in a few of the same classes. Do you know where they are?”

“Yes. I went to find them immediately after unpacking,” Leon said.

“You’re already unpacked?!” Michael had the feeling that he’d spend much of this year staring at Leon in astonishment.

“Yes.”

Michael hadn’t even unpacked his sheets yet. He’d just dumped all his bags on the floor and then lay down beside them to nap, completely exhausted from moving. “Do you mind showing me around then?”

Leon considered him for a minute. “Alright. Let’s go.”

* * *

“Are you sure there’s no elevator in this building?” Michael wheezed, leaning against the railing.

Leon stuck his head over the railing a floor above him. “I’m certain. My brother and sister spent half an hour arguing over the map.”

“Why did they put the first year journalism course on the sixth floor then?” Michael practically wailed, collapsing onto the landing.

Leon walked back down to him. “It’s good exercise.”

Michael scowled up at him from the floor. “Says the guy who isn’t even slightly out of breath.”

“Give yourself a month,” Leon said. He held out a hand to Michael. “Come on. We’re almost there.”

Michael pouted but took his hand. Leon yanked him to his feet.

“You said your brother and sister were here?” Michael asked.

“Yes. Nica and Dimitri. They came to help carry boxes, but I think it would have gone a lot faster if they hadn’t helped.” Leon frowned.

“Older or younger?”

“Both younger. Fourteen and twelve. This is it.” Leon stopped in front of a pair of double doors. Michael peered through the window but the room was too dark to see anything.

“I suppose we can’t go in?” he asked.

Leon shook his head. “It’s locked. Nica offered to pick the lock when we came.”

Michael grinned. “I like the sound of your sister. I think we’d get along.”

“It’s likely. Nica gets along with most people. She’s very… outgoing.”

“And your brother?”

“He’s…” Leon paused for a long moment. “Spirited.”

“So in other words, he’s a nightmare,” Michael joked.

Leon did not take it as a joke. “My brother is not a nightmare,” he said, his eyes narrowing in annoyance.

Michael swallowed hard. “Right. No. Of course he’s not. It was… It was a joke. A bad one. I’m sorry.”

Leon’s shoulders relaxed. “Oh. Yes. A joke.” He paused. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“It’s fine. I forget that some people like their siblings.” Michael hadn’t spoken to his brother since he moved out five years ago.

“You’re not close to your family?”

“That’s one way of putting it.” Michael turned and started walking back to the stairs. “Okay, where’s our next class?”

* * *

Michael’s roommate was standing in the hallway talking to a couple of other boys when they got back to the dorm. He grinned and waved when he saw Michael.

“Mikey! How’s it going, my man?” Trevor yelled.

Michael blinked. “Uh, hi… Trevor, right?”

“Yeah! How’s it going? Who’s this?”

“Um, this is Leon. He’s in my program. Leon, this is Trevor. My roommate, apparently.”

Trevor gave him finger guns. “You know it.”

Leon cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yes. Hello, Trevor. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure, my man.” Trevor slung an arm around Michael’s shoulders, ignoring Leon’s confusedly mouthing _my man?_ “Listen dude. So we heard about this wild party happening at the Phi Kappa Theta house tonight. You in?”

“Isn’t it a dry orientation week?” Michael asked.

“Yeah, but the house isn’t on campus. Come on dude, it’s your first night of freedom. Don’t you want to live a little?”

“Yeah, of course! Just, uh… Just give me a few minutes?”

“Yeah, sure thing. We’ll meet you downstairs.” Trevor walked off with the guys he was talking to.

“Are you really going to go to a party on your first night here?” Leon asked.

“Yeah, why not?” Michael asked.

“You haven’t finished unpacking yet, for one,” Leon said. “Not to mention that it doesn’t sound particularly safe. Have you consumed alcohol before?”

“Yes,” Michael lied. “And I can just unpack tomorrow.”

“You’re already running behind where you should be. What if you have a hangover?”

“I won’t drink that much. And what do you care anyways? You don’t know me.”

Leon sighed. “No, I don’t. But they don’t seem like smart guys. And you do.”

“What, and smart guys don’t drink?” Michael rolled his eyes. “Look, just… Don’t worry about me, okay? I’ll be fine.”

* * *

The music crawled under Michael’s skin, the bass beating in time with his heart. His whole body felt like it was thrumming, like he was invincible. And he hadn’t even begun drinking yet.

“Mikey-boy!” Trevor yelled. Michael was beginning to pick up on the fact that Trevor’s only vocal volume was a yell. “Have you gotten a drink yet?”

“Nope! Can’t seem to find my way to wherever they’re being kept,” Michael said, raising his voice to be heard over the music.

“Everywhere, man!” Trevor reached off to the side and came back with a can of beer. “Drink up!”

Michael cracked open the can and yelped as it sprayed foam all over his hands. Trevor laughed. Michael took a sip and gagged. “Ugh, that’s awful!”

“Yeah man, that’s why you chug it! Once you’re drunk, you won’t notice the difference!”

Michael shrugged and took a large swig.

The next thing he knew he was on his hands and knees, throwing up in a toilet. He cringed at the sound, echoing in the too-large washroom, and leaned against the side of the stall he was crouched in. His head was pounding. It felt like someone had chiselled a hole in the side of his head and poured liquid fire through it into his entire body. It felt like a bear had picked him up and slammed him into the ground repeatedly. It felt like something was actively trying to murder him.

“Michael?” Leon’s deep voice echoed.

Michael groaned and grabbed his head. “Too loud…”

“Michael, are you okay?”

Michael looked over his shoulder. Leon was standing over him, his dark brown hair ruffled and his eyes still cloudy with sleep. “When did you get here?” Michael mumbled.

“I was already coming here to brush my teeth when I saw you run in.” Leon held up his toothbrush and toothpaste.

Michael looked around, confused. “I’m back in the dorm?”

“Yes. I believe you and Trevor got back around 4 in the morning last night. Did you have a good time?”

Michael groaned and dropped his head, the cool porcelain of the toilet bowl soothing against his throbbing head. “Don’t be an ass.”

“I’ll get you some water.”

* * *

That may have been the first time that Leon helped Michael with a hangover, but it was far from the last time.

There was the first weekend after classes started, when Michael tried to convince Leon to come out to a bar with Trevor and him. Leon had declined, saying that he needed to get ahead in their readings (it was never a want when it came to Leon and school: always a need). Michael had woken up on Leon’s floor. His roommate had apparently left, unwilling to deal with a drunk stranger, and Leon had stayed beside Michael all night, unwilling to leave.

There was the time in the middle of midterms, when Michael had asked if Leon wanted to join them, take the edge off of his stress.

“You’re always studying,” he had said. “That can’t be healthy.”

“I would be more concerned with your own studying,” Leon had replied. “Have you even opened the textbook for Reading the Past?”

“It’s a first year class. How hard can the midterm be?” Michael failed the midterm spectacularly, two days after Leon brought him scrambled eggs and Gatorade from the dining hall because Michael had been too sick to get out of bed. 

There was after final exams. That was the worst one. Michael had just come from failing their Journalism 101 final (he didn’t need to see the marks to know that he had bombed the entire course) and had to pack to go home for the next three weeks. Unwilling to think about it, he’d taken Trevor up on his offer to go to an end of year party rather than packing. The next thing he remembered, he was sitting on the washroom floor next to Leon, past the point of being embarrassed by the other boy seeing him vomit.

“What time’s your train?” Leon had asked.

“10:30.” Michael let his head drop onto Leon’s shoulder. It hurt too much to hold it up. He just wanted to close his eyes and take a nap right there. Leon was so warm…

“10:30? Michael, it’s almost nine and you haven’t packed yet!” Leon sounded like he was about to have a heart attack.

“It’s no big deal, I can just stay here over break,” he muttered. “It’s nice here. It’s good.”

Leon shrugged him off. “Come on. We have to get you packed and ready to go.”

Leon managed to have his essentials thrown into a backpack in less than ten minutes, and within twenty they were standing on a subway platform, Leon handing Michael his train ticket and a bottle of water. “Try to sleep on the train. I set an alarm on your watch for ten minutes before your stop.”

“Thanks. A lot. I… I would have been lost without you this morning,” Michael said.

“You’ve got three weeks off, Michael. Try to get your head straightened out.” Leon gave him a small smile before walking off back towards the exit.

And Michael was completely and utterly gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael drowns in so many ways.

_Get straightened out,_ he’d said. _What kind of ironic ass wording was that?_

Michael was holding his head under the train bathroom’s tap, letting the cool water run through his hair and down his cheeks. He didn’t even care that some of it was getting in his ears. He’d barely been able to focus all break, his brain just continually replaying those last few seconds with Leon, that stupid, _gorgeous_ smile.

It wasn’t like Michael hadn’t realized that he liked boys before. He’d seen boys, and he was well aware of how stupid he could get if he was around one that was nice. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t noticed Leon before. He wasn’t blind. Once you got past how physically imposing and stern he looked, Leon was incredibly attractive. But then he’d smiled and been so overwhelmingly nice to Michael, and he just couldn’t focus on anything else.

He didn’t _want_ to focus on anything else. The few moments that Michael had been able to snap out of thoughts of Leon, his parents had been dicks and it was impossible to actually straighten out his head in the way that Leon had meant it. He’d ended up raiding his parents liquor cabinet no less than five times while he was home, drinking until he vomited every time. His parents hadn’t even noticed.

The train rattles and Michael’s head slams into the side of the sink and then the tap. He curses and rubs his head. “Stupid train,” he mutters.

He stumbles his way back to his seat and tries to focus on the semester ahead. True to his predictions, his grades had come back with 30s and 40s across the board. He’d been placed on academic probation. After his first semester. He had to turn things around, and fast. He had to focus. He had to-

Remember to get off the train at the right stop.

Michael was one of the first students back in the dorm after break, and enjoyed the night of freedom. After three weeks of a room to himself, it was nice to have an extra night before having to share with Trevor again. But he had to admit, he didn’t mind it so much when Trevor showed up and immediately invited him to go out to a frat party. It would be nice to actually party again, instead of just drinking alone because his parents were being assholes.

Less nice was having his reunion with the boy he hadn’t stopped thinking about all break occur while he had his head in a toilet.

“Michael.” Oh gosh, Leon’s voice was even hotter than he’d remembered. Michael’s head shot up. Leon was standing behind him, his arms crossed, face unreadable.

(Michael would come to learn later that that particular face meant _Oh, Michael. What have you done this time?_ )

“Leon! You’re back!” Michael beamed at him for a second before his sudden movement caught up to him and he turned his head to throw up again.

“Yes, I came back last night. Did Trevor take you out yesterday?”

Michael nodded weakly.

Leon sighed. “You know today’s the first day of classes, right?”

“Perfect day to miss. All they do is go over the syllabus,” Michael said. “Can you grab me a copy for our History of Print course?”

“Of course.”

Leon showed up in Michael’s dorm room later that day with the syllabuses for all his classes. Michael hadn’t even told him what he was taking.

* * *

Michael had tried very, very hard to be a good student this semester. But he couldn’t help it. Every time Trevor asked him if he wanted to go out, the desire to drink outweighed his desire to study. And every time he drank, the desire to keep drinking outweighed his desire not to throw up the next morning. Heck, by this point he didn’t even need Trevor’s invitation to get him started. He’d just start drinking whenever he could. He spent more time drinking than he did in class. He began drinking while he was still nursing a hangover.

He was miserable, but he just couldn’t stop. Because for a few minutes, the few minutes of intoxication that he could remember, he was on top of the world.

That all came crashing down one day when he came into his dorm and saw Leon sitting on his bed, a stack of papers in his lap.

“How did you get in here?” Michael asked. They’d barely spoken this semester. Leon spent all his time studying, Michael spent all his time drinking. It worked out for the both of them. They both got to do what they wanted, and Leon didn’t have to waste time worrying about Michael anymore.

“Trevor let me in before he went to class. I’m worried about you, Michael,” Leon said.

Or maybe he did still waste time worrying about Michael. He rolled his eyes and cringed. They seemed to hurt all the time now. “You don’t have to worry about me,” Michael said. “I’m fine.”

“You spend most of your time drinking. I did some research.” Leon held up the stack of papers. “This includes lists of AA meetings in Greater Boston, techniques that others have found useful to quit drinking, ways to-“

“Wait.” Michael held up a hand. “You want me to go to _AA meetings_?”

“Yes.”

“You think I’m an alcoholic?”

“No. I looked into it, and I know you’re an alcoholic.”

“What the hell man? I barely know you, and you’re coming in here telling me I’m an alcoholic?”

“I’m just trying to look out for you. You’ve barely gone to class this semester, you failed all of your courses, and that’s not even getting into the harm you’re inflicting on your body.” Leon sighed and stood up, leaving the stack of paper on Michael’s bed. “Just look over them, okay?”

Michael waited until Leon was gone before grabbing the stack, ready to just throw them in the garbage. Who the hell did this guy think he was? Coming into Michael’s dorm room just to tell him that he thinks he’s an alcoholic? That he was worried about him? Michael hadn’t asked him to worry. And so what if he drank a lot? There wasn’t anything wrong with drinking.

And then he paused.

Leon had organized the papers by topic. He’d stapled some together, put sticky notes on others. Some of the papers were printed off from the library’s computers, others were handwritten notes, complete with underlining and circling. He’d put time into this. The least Michael could do was humour him.

Michael sat down on the edge of his bed and started to read.

* * *

Leon opened the door in his pyjamas, his hair ruffled with sleep and Michael suddenly realized that it was three in the morning.

“Sorry! I didn’t realize how late it was! I’ll come back tomorrow!” Michael turned quickly and started back towards his room. Leon grabbed his arm and a jolt of electricity traveled through Michael.

“Michael.” Leon’s voice was hoarse. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just-“ Michael looked around. “Can we… I don’t know. Go somewhere and talk? Privately?”

Leon nodded and lead him down to the dorm’s lounge. He put on the kettle, grabbed a couple of mugs, and made them each a cup of hot chocolate.

“What’s going on?” he asked after they were settled on one of the couches. Leon had thought ahead and was wearing a hoodie, while Michael had to huddle under one of the rough blankets left in the lounge for students.

“I read over the papers you left me.” Leon nodded and waited for Michael to continue. Michael took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. You had a point. I think I’m going to try going to one of those meetings.”

Leon nodded. “That’s a good idea.”

“I was… wondering if you could come with me? I mean, it’s fine if you don’t want to or you’d feel awkward or whatever, I’d just…” Michael took a deep breath, aware that he was now speaking too quickly to be properly understood. “I’d just really like to have someone there with me as support.”

Leon frowned. “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to come into the meeting itself - it is meant to be anonymous - but I’ll at least come with you to the door.”

Michael smiled, relieved. “Thank you. And thanks for looking up all that information for me.”

“Of course. It’s a hard thing to deal with. It’ll take a lot of work to recover from. But I believe in you.”

When Michael was five, his parents took him and his brother to the beach. The water had been too rough to swim in, but they’d been allowed to wade up to their knees. Michael waded out too far and ended up being knocked over by a wave twice his size, and got stuck underwater, his lungs crushing under the intense pressure. He’d flapped around in terror, mouth filling with water, until the lifeguard had come to rescue him. He didn’t realize until afterwards that he’d almost died. He’d just been in pain and scared.

He felt like that again now. He’d been lost underwater, drowning and unaware of just how much danger he was in, and then along came Leon to rescue him with just those four words. _I believe in you._ His own personal lifeguard.

* * *

“Okay, and how can the weird knight thing move?” Michael asked.

“That’s not the knight, that’s the bishop,” Leon said, clearly trying hard not to sound exasperated.

“But it’s in a suit of armour.”

“That’s its robes.”

“It looks more like a helmet.”

“It’s a bishop. The horse is the knight.”

“Fine. How does the stupid looking bishop move?”

“Any direction diagonally,” Leon said, demonstrating with the black bishop. “It can’t move past any piece that’s obstructing its path, but otherwise it has free range.”

“It can move backwards?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Let’s do this.”

Ten minutes later, Michael was regretting his words as Leon took his king, smirking slightly. He wished that he could lean over and kiss that stupid smirk right off his face. He imagined what it would be like: Leon’s eyes widening, his mouth opening just slightly in surprise, finally something that Michael could do that would be impossible to predict. Heck, he doubted that Leon had even picked up on the fact that he liked men yet.

“You have to visualize your next move,” Leon was saying, unaware that Michael was doing just that with a move he would never have the courage to act upon. “Plan out what comes after your current action. It’s a good strategy to employ not just in chess, but life as well. If you visualize your next move and plan for any possible outcome, you’ll be just fine.”

“That sounds like way too much work,” Michael said.

“It’s less work in the long run,” Leon said, reseting the board. “Instead of scrambling to catch up, you’re calmly changing to plan B. Much easier, much less stress.”

“I’m not good at predicting the future though,” Michael said. “I can barely even handle the present.”

“You’re doing just fine,” Leon said. “You’ve come a long way in just a couple of months.”

He was right, of course. Leon was always right. Michael had come a long way since Leon’s intervention back in February. He’d had a couple of drinks since then (getting sober was so, so much harder than he’d expected. He hadn’t realized just how much he drank until he wasn’t allowed to drink any more), but it had been a couple of weeks since his last one, and Michael was feeling plenty proud of himself. He felt like this milestone deserved a celebration, but the only one his brain could come up with was an entire bottle of whiskey. He’d decided to distract himself by asking Leon to teach him how to play chess, a move that he definitely hadn’t visualized, seeing as it not only meant getting his ass handed to him, but also a great deal of embarrassment in front of the boy who still occupied most of his waking - and often dreaming - thoughts.

“There’s still a long way to go,” Michael said. “Two weeks is only the start.”

“A start is better than nothing,” Leon said, glancing up at him with solemn brown eyes. “And I don’t just mean with getting sober. You haven’t missed any more class, your marks are up, you’ve got a job for the summer.”

“Yeah, and the shittiest apartment ever,” he muttered. It turned out that a Renaissance Fair in a nearby town offered their employees subsidized housing if they worked extra hours. It wasn’t good housing, but it meant that Michael didn’t have to go back home for the summer and had somewhere to live before coming back to residence in September. He’d been hoping to move out, but it didn’t look like that was in the cards until third year.

“It’s something. More than something.” Leon gave Michael one of his small smiles. The kind that made Michael feel like he was freezing, melting, and exploding all at the same time and in the best possible ways. “You’re doing such a good job, Michael.”

Michael’s face felt like it was on fire. “It’s all because of you. I wouldn’t have been able to do anything without you.”

Leon shook his head and started the timer for Michael’s turn. “You’re in charge of your own destiny, Michael.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr @thenightcrowd


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing about Ren Fairs, don't @ me

A Renaissance Fair seemed like it would be a good job until you realized just how much alcohol was around you all. the. time. According to Michael’s coworkers, the ale wasn’t even that good. But it seemed like every person who came to the Fair had at least one. And watching others drinking made Michael want to drink even more. Not to mention that mucking out the horses stables and cleaning the jousting ring was such a miserable job that Michael wanted to just drain fifteen flagons and forget that life existed, terrible taste be damned.

“Michael.” The sound of Leon’s familiar deep voice made Michael jump nearly a foot in the air.

“Ah! What are you doing here? You… You dressed up.” Michael made a mental note that Leon looked suspiciously good in fake armour.

Leon glanced down at his outfit. “Nica told me it was rude to go to the Renaissance Fair and not dress up.”

“Oh, you came with your siblings?”

“No, I’m… I’m actually on a date.”

Michael choked. “You’re what?” 

“On a date,” Leon said.

“A date,” Michael repeated, feeling sick to his stomach. “With who?”

“Her name’s Julia. We work together.”

The sick feeling in Michael’s stomach increased. Not only was Leon on a date, but he was on a date with a girl who got to work with him every day. Leon had gotten a job in a filing room: there would be plenty of time to talk during the day. He’d met this girl and gotten to know her and liked her in a way that he didn’t like Michael. A way he’d probably never like Michael. And this girl got to see Leon every day. Michael hadn’t seen Leon in months, not since the end of the semester. Their schedules had just never lined up. They wrote letters, sure, but that wasn’t the same.

“That’s uh… That’s great, Leon. I’m really happy for you,” Michael lied and wished it wasn’t a lie. Wished he could be the bigger person and just be happy that Leon was happy. It wasn’t like he had any right to him anyways.

Leon shrugged. “It’s nothing serious yet. This is only our fifth date.”

“You like her though,” Michael said.

“I wouldn’t have asked her out if I didn’t.”

“Leon?” A soft voice called from the entrance to the stables. “I don’t think we’re supposed to be in here.”

“Is that her?” Michael asked. Leon nodded. “It’s okay. I work here, you can come back.”

A girl walked into the stables, staring at the horses in admiration. She was dressed in a simple peasant’s dress and had her hair tied back in a bandana. She was also, much to Michael’s annoyance, overwhelmingly pretty. “You work here? With the horses?”

“Yep. I’m the stable boy. Mucker of stalls, scooper of poop. Also known as Michael.”

Julia laughed. Her laugh sounded like wind chimes and Michael feels a knife twist in his stomach. “It’s nice to meet you, Michael the Poop Scooper. I’m Julia, the…” She frowned. “The…”

Michael waited for Leon to say _The Pretty,_ or any of the sweet things that boyfriends are supposed to say about their girlfriends. Instead, he merely said, “Michael the Poop Scooper just makes him sound like a strange contraption you buy to look after your cat’s messes.” 

“Hm. That’s a good point,” Julia said. She took Leon’s hand and leaned on Leon’s shoulder. Michael felt another flare of jealousy in his gut. That was where he was supposed to be. That was where he was when he was hungover and sick and miserable. That was where he was when he and Leon were up late studying and he was falling asleep, listening to Leon read out his notes.

But he supposed it wasn’t his spot anymore. It hadn’t ever been his spot, really. It was the spot where a partner was supposed to be. And Michael had never been anything more than a close friend at most. Certainly nothing like a partner. Nothing like Julia, who now got to touch Leon so casually, a sense of ownership conveyed in every movement, in every look. A glimpse into a world that Michael could never be a part of. A sphere of life that he couldn’t cross over into no matter how badly he wanted to.

He’s snapped suddenly out of his moping when Leon casually steps away from Julia to take a closer look at one of the horses. “So this is what you’ve been up to all summer,” he said. 

“Yep. The whirlwind adventures of not looking after horses,” Michael said.

Julia frowned. “I thought you were the stable boy. Stable boys were the ones who looked after the horses.”

“See, that’s the historically correct version. The modern version is that I know absolutely nothing about horses, but I am fairly handy with a shovel. Stable hand sounds more Medieval than Poop Scooper.”

“Please stop calling yourself Poop Scooper,” Leon said.

“So you’re Leon’s friend who works here. He suggested we come by when he found out I’m a History major.” Julia leaned towards Michael to stage whisper, “I think he just wanted to see you though.”

Michael tried to ignore the happy flutter in his chest that those words gave him. Leon rolled his eyes. “I wanted to make sure you were doing alright and not just putting the good parts in letters.”

“I literally told you about falling in a pile of shit in front of that summer camp. How could that possibly have been the good parts?” Michael asked, grinning uncontrollably. Leon had wanted to see him. Leon had wanted to see _him._

Leon shrugged, leaning against the stable door and crossing his arms. “There are humorous bad parts and sad bad parts.”

Michael looked pointedly at Julia. “Can we talk about this later?”

Sensing the mood, Julia stepped back from Michael. “I can leave if you guys need to talk.”

“No. I’m fine,” Michael said, meeting Leon’s gaze. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Hm.” Leon pushed off from the stable. “I’ll come by again before we leave.”

“You don’t have to-“

“I will.” Leon walked out of the stable.

Julia stared after him, frowning. “Can I ask you a question, Michael?”

“The longer you’re here, the longer I don’t have to scoop poop,” Michael said. “Shoot.”

“Is Leon always so… Does he always… Oh, I don’t know how to say this politely!”

“Just say what’s on your mind.”

“Is he always… like that?”

Michael blinked. “Like… what exactly?”

“You know… Stiff. Serious.” Julia sighed and tucked a loose strand of her hair back into the bandana. “I don’t mind it if he is. I just… I don’t know, I figured we’d see his friend, he’d loosen up a little bit, and things would get easier. Right now I just… I don’t know. He doesn’t hold my hand in public, he doesn’t laugh at my jokes, he doesn’t smile. I just… I wonder if he actually likes me, you know?”

Michael froze. Of all the terrible things he’d expected to happen today, having to reassure Leon’s girlfriend that he liked her wasn’t one of them. “I mean… He’s going out with you.”

“Yeah, but like…” Julia sighed with frustration. “Most guys by this point would be expecting sex. And it’s not that I don’t like that Leon isn’t rushing into that, it’s great not to be pressured for once, but like… I don’t know, maybe it’s just a result of dating so many stupid guys that now that I’ve found a good guy I don’t know what to do, but… Is he like that with everyone? Cold and hard to read?”

Michael wished that the stable floor would open up and eat him alive. He wished that one of the horses would burst out of their stall and trample him to death. He wished that he was suddenly transported to the other side of the earth where he wasn’t listening to his crush’s girlfriend talk about how she wants to have sex with him. Or not. Michael was a little confused.

“I wouldn’t say cold.” It was true. Michael had never found Leon to be cold. Stiff, sure. Hard to read, absolutely. But definitely not cold. A cold man wouldn’t have done pages of research on alcoholism for a guy he barely knew. A cold man wouldn’t have lent Michael the notes for half a semester worth of classes free of charge. A cold man wouldn’t have stayed up until three in the morning when Michael was struggling not to go to a bar, reading him riddles to keep him from thinking about alcohol.

“What would you say then?” she asked.

“I would say he takes some getting used to. When I met Leon, I thought he was a robot.” Julia laughed. “That’s only half a joke. He was so rigid and by the book, I thought that someone must have programmed him to be that way. But that’s part of his charm. He sees the world differently from me, but he sees it better than me. He sees all the problems that are coming up. He sees everything. Which means that if he’s chosen you to date… You must be pretty great.”

Julia blushed and ducked her head. “Thank you, Michael. I appreciate it.”

“Stick it out,” he said through the lump in his throat. “Leon’s worth getting used to.”

* * *

The first day of second year went a lot smoother than the first day of first year. Michael had Leon to help him move in (and carry all the heavy boxes), and his mother was more than happy to lend them her car for the day. Much easier than struggling with his parents all day long. Michael crashed into his bed at the end of the day, ready for a peaceful night’s sleep (another pro of living with Leon - he made him put the sheets on his bed first thing).

The only downside that Michael seemed to be able to find about living with Leon was that he set his alarm for six in the morning. Every morning. Even when he didn’t have class.

“Ugh, what the hell is that noise?” Michael grumbled, hiding under his pillow.

“An alarm,” Leon said. He turned it off and Michael breathed a sigh of relief.

“Why do you have an alarm set for six in the morning? Our Ethics class isn’t until one.”

“It’s good to have a regulated sleeping schedule, Michael.”

Michael stuck his head out from under his pillow to glare at Leon, only to find his mouth dropping open. He had never seen Leon looking anything less than immaculate. And here he was, with ruffled hair and sleepy eyes, dressed in a soft-looking t-shirt and boxers. He blinked sleepily at Michael, looking like the cutest person on the planet. Michael wanted to pull him down on top of him and bury his face in his hair, memorize the smell of him, the feel of his muscles under his hands, trace the lines of his neck with his lips. He wanted to put his lips a lot lower than Leon’s neck. He wanted to know the noises he'd make if he did. 

“What? It’s scientifically proven that when you have a consistent sleep schedule, you’re better able to process and retain information.”

“Uhh….”

“Michael? Michael, are you okay?”

Michael shook his head quickly, trying to clear it and think something other than _holy shit, I’m so fucking gay._ “Uh, yeah. Just tired.”

“Do you want some coffee?” Leon asked. He tilted his head to the side slightly as he asked the question, and Michael almost died. Leon was unfairly cute in the morning. He was supposed to be hot. Michael could deal with hot. He couldn’t deal with adorable.

(He was lying, he couldn’t really deal with hot yet).

“Uhhhhhhh…..”

“I’ll take that as a yes?”

“Sure.”

Leon went off to boil water and Michael buried his face in his pillow. He was not going to survive the semester, let alone the year. Maybe he’d make it through September. He’d make it through September and then die on October 1st, and his tombstone would read: _Here lies Michael Tate, Raging Pansexual. He died due to being too gay._

There were worse things to have on a tombstone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr @thenightcrowd


	4. Chapter 4

Michael wouldn’t have expected it, but he’d grown to like Julia. She was nice, and seemed to genuinely care for Leon, even though she didn’t really understand him. Sometimes she’d come by the dorm early for a date, while Leon was still in class, providing Michael with a much needed distraction from studying.

Today was one of those days.

“Michael!” Julia bounced through the doorway and flopped down on his bed next to him. “What are you studying?”

Michael didn’t look up from his notes on 1960’s news reporting. “The most boring thing in the history of the universe. Are you and Leon going out tonight?”

“Yeah, he’s taking me to the movies. A little boring, but classic.” Julia peered over Michael’s shoulder. “Ugh. That does look boring. Take a break.”

Michael hesitated. “We have to have up to chapter thirteen read for tomorrow’s class. I’m still on chapter nine.”

“You absorb information better if you give your brain time to rest,” Julia said in a mock deep voice.

Michael laughed. “Is that supposed to be Leon?”

She grinned. “What? It doesn’t sound like him?”

“No no, that sounds exactly like him. It’s uncanny. I really thought he was in the room with me.”

Julia laughed, her forehead touching Michael’s shoulder as she leaned forward. “Well, I’m glad to know I’m picking something up from him. Though I wish it were his time management skills. I have no idea where my life’s at right now. It’s just a complete disaster.” 

“So you came over here to procrastinate?” Michael asked.

“Exactly.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to oblige.”

“How awful for you,” Julia said, grabbing Leon’s chess set.

“Oh, you don’t want to play that,” Michael said.

“Why? Scared you’ll loss?” Julia grinned wickedly.

“Oh no, I’m worried for you. Leon’s been teaching me how to play. I’m going to kick your ass.”

“What? You think he’d teach you how to play and not me?”

Michael ignored the twist in his heart that Julia’s words caused. She was still more important in Leon’s life than he was. She ranked ahead of him across the board. “W-Well, he did teach me back in the spring,” he stammered. “I wasn’t sure if he had gotten around to it with you yet.”

Julia laughed her wind chimes laugh. “Okay. Sure. Come on, let’s play. I’m impatient to destroy you.”

They were halfway through their third game when Leon came in the room, his backpack heavy with books. He tilted his head to the side in confusion when he saw Julia.

“Julia. We’re not meeting until six-thirty,” Leon said.

“I figured I’d drop by earlier. Catch you after class. Maybe grab dinner?” she asked hopefully.

Leon frowned. “How long have you been here?” he asked, ignoring her question.

She shrugged. “A couple of hours or so.”

Leon glanced at Michael, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Have you two just been talking this entire time?”

“Yeah, it’s a revolutionary new thing people are doing,” Michael said, grinning teasingly. Julia laughed, and Leon’s confusion seemed to only grow. Michael felt a swell of affection in his chest. “She came by while I was studying. I needed the distraction.” 

“You _need_ to finish the readings for class tomorrow,” Leon said, dropping his bag next to his bed. “How far along are you?”

“Nearly done,” Michael lied. “What else was I supposed to do? Make her just sit in silence for two hours?”

“No, I suppose that would be unfair.”

“Leon? Supper?” Julia repeated.

“We didn’t have plans-” he started.

Julia rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand. “Whatever your supper plans were. I’ll just come with.” She waved a quick goodbye to Michael before hurrying out of the room. Leon gave Michael one last confused glance before following.

* * *

Michael was still working his way through the Journalism History notes, laying upside down off the edge of his bed, when Leon came back from his date. He still looked just as confused as when he left, but now the confusion was mixed with a bit of sadness.

“Hey!” Michael said, chipperly, buzzing from the energy drink mixed with coffee that he’d just drank. He was going to drink, but he knew that it was a bad idea, so he substituted too much alcohol for too much caffeine. “How’s it going? How was the date?”

Leon stared at him for a moment before glancing at Michael’s desk. Upon seeing the empty mug and energy drink can, he sighed. “You won’t be able to sleep.”

“Is that an answer to how the date went? Am I being kicked out?” Michael waggled his eyebrows, too hyper to feel upset.

“No. I meant all that caffeine is bad for you. Aren’t you not supposed to mix energy drinks with more caffeine?”

“Probably. I don’t know, my whole life’s one giant bad decision, what’s one more?” Michael laughed. “So the date? Good? Bad? Terrible? Average? World shatteringly amazing?”

Leon sat cross-legged next to Michael and ran a hand softly through his hair. Michael’s brain malfunctioned. “Your life’s not all bad decisions.”

“Oh no, I’ve made some terrible ones. Seriously, horrible, horrible decisions. Like, wow. Bad Decision train pulling into Flaming Disaster Station right now.” Michael burst out laughing again. “ _Flaming._ ”

Leon was still stroking his hair. “You have made some bad decisions. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t start making some good ones.”

Michael squirmed so that his head was resting in Leon’s lap, spurred on by the caffeine pounding through his veins. The speed at which his thoughts were racing meant that he had no time to waste on consideration. Action had to happen or he’d go crazy. “Yeah? Like what? I thought I was doing okay with school, and then Journalism History decided to try to murder me.”

“You’re doing a great job with school. You’re passing all your classes and haven’t missed a single class. That’s amazing.” Leon’s fingers slid past Michael’s ear and he bit back a whine.

“Yeah, but I’m still real dumb.”

“You’re not stupid, Michael. You just had a rough start.”

“I wasn’t talking about school.”

“Hm? What were you talking about then?”

“You.” The word was out of Michael’s mouth before he could stop it and he quickly clapped his hands over his mouth. “Oh my god,” he mumbled.

“What about me?” There was a knowing glint in Leon’s eyes. Michael’s heart beat faster.

“I have a secret and I can’t tell you,” he mumbled into his hands.

Leon laughed and Michael’s soul left his body. “So I was right then.” 

“Wh-What?” Had he been wrong this entire time? Had Leon known from the start that Michael had feelings for him and just chose not to say or do anything about it? Was he fine with it? He hadn’t said anything. He had to be fine with it. Or maybe it was just an ego boost for him. Something to amuse him. He did laugh, after all. But would he really be so physical with Michael if he wasn’t fine with it? Unless he was just doing it to mock him. Oh god, why did being helplessly gay have to be so difficult?

Leon smiled. “Julia. You have feelings for her, don’t you?”

Michael sat upright so fast he almost hit Leon in the face with his own, and not in the way that he wanted to. “I WHAT?!”

“Shh, people are sleeping, Michael.” Leon put his hands on Michael’s shoulders. “Breathe.”

Michael stared at him in astonishment. All that caffeine was turning out to be an even worse idea than he’d thought, because his thoughts were swirling too quickly for him to grab ahold of a single one. “I- I- Julia- What?!”

“I talked to her about it earlier tonight,” Leon said. “She likes you, if you wanted to ask her out.”

Michael jumped to his feet. “Stop! Stop! Stop! Go back! What?!”

Leon tilted his head to the side and Michael had to clutch the edge of his desk to keep from falling over. _Too much._ “I don’t understand your confusion.”

“I- You think- Julia- She- I-“ Was the air leaving the dorm room or was it just Michael’s imagination? It was definitely getting harder to breathe though. And something was shaking. Shaking a lot.

Leon grabbed his water bottle from next to his bed and held it up to Michael’s lips. “Drink,” he ordered.

Michael took a large gulp of water and nearly choked, coughing half of it back up on himself and Leon. He felt the edge of the bed hit the back of his knees and Leon helped him sit down, crouching in front of him.

“It’s okay, Michael. Just breathe.” Leon rested his hands on Michael’s knees, probably in an attempt to help him ground himself, but Michael was so wound up, he just smacked Leon’s hands away.

“I- I-“ he stammered. The room was spinning. He tried to find something to focus on, but everything was just Leon. Leon’s brown eyes, filled with concern, watching Michael as he freaked out. His hands, clenched at his sides. Probably frustrated he couldn’t do anything, but respecting Michael’s need for space.

“Do you need me to leave?” Leon asked, standing.

“No!” Michael’s hand shot out and grabbed his sleeve. Soft, worn flannel. He focused on that and took a deep breath. “No. No. Please. Stay. I need- I need you. Here.”

Leon nodded and stood there patiently as Michael gasped and tried to stop the room from spinning.

“Go from the beginning,” Michael said when he finally had his breath again.

“Are you certain? I can wait until tomorrow if you need to rest,” Leon said. Michael shook his head. “Will you at least lie down? I’d feel better if you were resting.”

Michael sighed and lay down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. His heart was still hammering in his chest. The bed creaked as Leon sat down beside him. He ran a hand through Michael’s hair, and Michael closed his eyes, trying to focus on the soothing sensation instead of his arteries trying to murder him.

“I thought that you and Julia liked one another. I thought that was the reason she always came over here early. So that she could spend time with you under the guise of waiting for me,” Leon said.

“Why wouldn’t she just break up with you then? It’s not like you’re married,” Michael said, keeping his eyes closed.

“She didn’t know.” Michael snorted and Leon’s hand stopped. “No. She truly did not know until I spoke to her tonight.”

Michael opened one eye to look up at Leon. He was looking down at him seriously. “You’re serious,” he said.

Leon nodded. “She thought that she merely enjoyed your company. She didn’t realize that her feelings were anything deeper.”

“And you thought I liked her because…?”

“You never seemed upset by her visits until I was there. And then you were… distinctly uncomfortable.”

Michael snorted. _Uncomfortable._ Yeah. That was one word for it. “I just liked having someone around to keep me from doing work. I just felt weird around the two of you because you’re a couple.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable. I apologize for any inconvenience that my relationship caused you.” Leon’s words would have sounded sarcastic coming from anyone else, but from him they sounded nothing but sincere.

“It’s fine,” Michael said. “So I take it you two broke up?”

“Yes. I assumed that I would talk to you about the break up and tell you that I would not be uncomfortable were you to ask her out, say, tomorrow, but it seems that that’s no longer a conversation that would be appropriate.”

Michael snorted. “Yeah, no shit.”

“I’m sorry that I read the situation completely wrong,” Leon said. His hand brushed over Michael’s bangs, and he closed his eyes with a sigh of pleasure.

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault. I probably would have had a meltdown just from how much caffeine was in my system anyways.”

Michael could hear the frown in Leon’s voice as he spoke. “Yes. Why were you drinking so much caffeine anyways?”

“It’s a good substitute for alcohol,” Michael said. “It tastes good, it gives you a bit of a buzz, and you’re technically not supposed to have more than one cup a day. After this though-” Michael shuddered- “I think I’ll be laying off the caffeine for a while.”

“That sounds like a good plan. Substituting one addiction for another will not end well,” Leon said. “Try to get some sleep, okay?”

“I’m fine,” Michael mumbled. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

Leon huffed out a laugh. “Sure.”

Michael stuck out his tongue. “Dick.”

“Okay, Michael.” Leon’s hand brushed the base of his skull and Michael tried not to squirm happily.

Leon stayed there with him until Michael fell asleep at 5:30 in the morning, and woke him up at 12:30 to usher him off to class.

* * *

Michael’s head was still pounding from the caffeine overdose, but he had to do whatever damage control he could sooner rather than later. He braced himself then knocked on Julia’s door. She opened it, clearly in the middle of studying judging by her hair that was being tugged out of its braid and the hoodie and sweatpants that she was wearing. She turned bright red when she saw Michael.

“OH! HI!” she said in much too loud a voice.

Michael groaned and rubbed his head. “Too loud.”

Julia winced sympathetically. “Long day?”

“You have no idea. Do… Do you mind if I come in? We need to talk.”

Julia nodded nervously and let him inside, closing the door behind him. “I take it you spoke to Leon, huh?”

“Yeah…” Michael glanced around the room, looking for an easy out, any way to delay this conversation by even a minute. It was easy to tell which side of the room was Julia’s and which side belonged to her roommate. Her roommate’s side was almost completely barren, with only a few textbooks stacked on her desk, and simple blue sheets. Julia’s wall was covered in maps, her desk had stacks of books on it, both for school and pleasure, and a stuffed unicorn sat in the place of honour on her bed. Michael picked it up. “Aw, this guy’s cute. What’s his name?”

Julia blushed even harder. “That is Sprinkles.”

“Aww.” Michael grinned and set Sprinkles back down on the bed. “Absolutely adorable.”

Julia rubbed the back of her head, blushing. “Thanks. I’m glad you think it’s cute and not babyish.”

“Hey, I still have my teddy. It’s just hiding somewhere in the mess that is my bed.”

Julia laughed. Michael grinned. Then they made eye contact and the room went back to horribly tense and awkward. Michael took a deep breath, deciding to just bite the bullet and go for it. “So… I heard you and Leon broke up.”

“Yeah. I’m not upset though,” she said quickly. “If that’s what you’re here for. You don’t have to worry about me being upset. Cause I’m not.”

“Yeeeaahhh… I kind of figured that out when Leon told me why you broke up?”

Julia buried her face in her hands. “Oh my god! He told you?!”

“Yeah… To be fair though, he did think that I had just confessed to liking you back, so you can’t _really_ blame him,” Michael said.

Julia looked up hopefully. “You like me?”

“Uh… No. Sorry.” Julia’s face crumbled and Michael quickly backtracked. “I mean, I do! I like you a lot, actually! Like, way more than I thought I would! But just not… in a romantic way. Like, in a strictly platonic way.”

“Oh.” Julia frowned. “So why does Leon think you like me?”

“He doesn’t, well, not anymore. I was just kind of out of it because I’d had _way_ too much caffeine, and he kind of just assumed when I said that I had a secret about him, I meant that I liked you, which really couldn’t be more from the truth- I mean! Not that I don’t like you! I just-“ Michael took a deep breath. “I’m explaining this badly.”

“You think?” Julia sat down on her bed and hugged Sprinkles. “So. What’s the secret?”

Now it was Michael’s turn to blush. “What secret? Who said anything about a secret?”

Julia sighed. “Michael. I just completely humiliated myself in front of you. The least you could do is potentially return the favour.”

Michael glanced at the door, biting his lip nervously. He was taller than Julia; he could probably run away if he needed to. “Okay. Well, the thing is… The reason it couldn’t be further from the truth… Erm… I’m…” He sighed. “Do I have to say it?”

Julia glared at him. “Yes. Humiliate yourself for me.”

“You’re way too intimidating for a girl clutching a stuffed unicorn right now.”

She smiled sweetly. “Go ahead.”

“I’ve kind of got a crush on Leon?” Michael took a deep breath. “There. Happy?”

Julia considered him for a moment. “So you’re gay?”

“Yes. Well, no. Not exactly.”

Julia raised an eyebrow. “Which is it?”

“I’m pansexual. So I like girls and boys and people who identify as neither or both or something else.”

Julia stared at him. “I… Yeah, you’re going to have to explain that last part to me.”

“Some people don’t identify as a man or a woman, some people identify as both a man and a woman, and some people identify as something else completely.”

She frowned, considering. “Okay. Yeah… Yeah, that makes sense. And you like all of them?”

“Well, I’m attracted to all of them. I still have preferences and standards.”

“And your preference is Leon,” Julia said.

Michael blushed. “Yes.”

She nodded slowly. “Okay. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. That actually… Wow, that actually makes a lot of sense.”

“It does?”

“Yeah, you spent a lot of time just staring at him. I thought you were just spaced out or stoned, but that makes way more sense.”

“I don’t stare at him!” Michael said, feeling his neck heat up.

Julia laughed. “You do! You practically have hearts in your eyes! I can’t believe I didn’t see it before!”

Michael pouted. “I do not get hearts in my eyes.”

“You totally do. You’re completely disgusting.” Julia froze. “I mean, not disgusting in a ‘gay people are disgusting’ kind of way. Cause gay people aren’t disgusting. I mean disgusting as in-“

“I get it,” Michael cut her off. He smiled. “Thanks for being so understanding. I really appreciate it.”

Julia grinned. “Yeah, of course. We’re friends, even if you did stare at my ex-boyfriend like a loser.”

“I was not a loser!”

“You were definitely a loser.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr @thenightcrowd


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than usual, but 'tis what 'tis. It also marks the end of completed chapters that I have ready. The next chapter is almost done, but then updates will be more spaced out. I'm hoping to keep updates regular, as this is currently my primary story, but they probably won't be weekly.

“Do you have everything?” Leon asked.

Michael resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “I’m not a child, Leon. You don’t have to keep checking up on me.”

“You woke up in the middle of the night yelling that you forgot to pack socks.”

“Shh. I’m smarter today.” Michael immediately proved himself wrong by tripping over his suitcase as he went to grab his winter clothes. Leon caught him.

“Oh. I forgot to ask you.”

Michael pulled his hat snug over his ears. “Yeah? What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you could talk to my brother at some point over the break.” Leon looked uncertain.

Michael raised an eyebrow. “We’ll be there for three weeks. I suspect I’ll talk to him at some point.” Leon had kindly offered Michael spend Winter Break at his home, worried about what a trip home would do to his mental state, and by extension, his sobriety. Michael’s parents didn’t seem that upset about not seeing him for a few more months, and he didn’t feel much different than them.

“I meant more purposefully. About being gay.”

Michael choked. “About what?”

“Oh. Yes, I know you’re technically bisexual, not gay, but there is some crossover, and I think Dimitri could really benefit from-“

Michael held up a hand to cut Leon off. His heart rate had increased. “How did you know?”

“It really wasn’t that hard to figure out. You get this glazed over look whenever anyone attractive speaks to you.” Leon tilted his head to the side, curious. “Did you think you were being discreet?”

Michael breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed that his crush (though it sounded odd to continue calling it that, as it felt like more now) was still a secret. “No. I just didn’t realize that you knew. And I’m pansexual, not bi.”

Leon shrugged. “I didn’t consider it important to bring up until now.”

“So your brother’s gay?”

“Yes. He hasn’t told us yet, but I’m fairly certain.”

“What? Is he super flamboyant or something?” Michael asked.

“Not in the slightest,” Leon said. “But he does keep writing me letters about a particular boy in class.” He paused. “I just want him to feel comfortable. Our high school’s not a good one to be gay in. I want him to know that there’s nothing wrong with who he is.”

Michael snorted. “And you thought that I’d be the best role model?”

“Why not?” Michael opened his mouth to start listing off traits and Leon rolled his eyes. “Don’t start. You’re a perfectly good role model. What’s more, you and Dimitri are a lot alike. I think it would mean more coming from someone he can relate to, than you know… Not.”

“What, like you?” Michael teased.

“Yes. But also, I wouldn’t know what to say.”

“Ah. Right.” _Straight. He’s straight. You have to remember that your roommate’s straight,_ Michael reminded himself. “What makes you think I do?”

“It doesn’t have to be anything big. It doesn’t even have to be a long conversation. Just… Reassure him. Let him know that he’ll be loved. It would mean a lot to me.” Leon looked so concerned, Michael couldn’t help himself.

“Fine, I’ll talk to him. I might just make it worse though,” he warned.

Leon gave him one of those small smiles that made Michael feel like he was dying. “You could never make anything worse, Michael.”

* * *

Michael had imagined Leon’s home to be warm and inviting. The kind of house that you’d see from the road and wish that you were inside of, curled up in front of a fire with a cup of hot chocolate.

Michael got that fantasy, but not in the way that he wanted.

“But I really don’t-” Michael said. He stopped when Leon held up a hand.

“Something’s not right,” he said.

Michael glanced around, but all he saw was a suburban street lined with snow. “What is it?”

Leon frowned. “I’m not sure.”

He lead the way up the driveway to one of the houses and Michael followed. Sure enough, it looked like the type of house that you’d see in a children’s book, complete with a swing on the tree in the front yard. Michael was passing under this tree when he heard a string of curse words coming from above him. He looked up-

Only to get a face full of snow.

“Michael!” Leon’s concerned voice came at the same time that another voice yelped, “Oh shit!” and a figure jumped out of the tree to land in the snowbank next to the two of them.

The front door flew open and a teenage girl yelled out, “Nice going, Dimitri! Way to completely miss your target!”

“I got him right in the face! …It was just the wrong one,” the boy who had jumped out of the tree said.

Leon brushed the snow off of Michael’s face and neck the best he could. “We’d better get you inside before you freeze to death.” He turned his stern gaze on the boy. “Dimitri.”

The boy - Dimitri - smiled sweetly up at Leon. “Leon! It’s good to have you home!”

“Hi Leon! Aren’t you glad one of your siblings loves you?” The girl yelled from the doorway.

“Yeah? Then why don’t you come out here and hug him?” Dimitri yelled back.

“I don’t have my boots on!”

“Then put them on!”

“Nica, you’re letting all the hot air out.” A middle-aged woman joined the girl at the door. She beamed when she noticed Leon. “Leon! You’re home! And this must be- Oh!”

“Dimitri got him in the face with a basket of snow,” Leon explained, walking up to the steps. He gave his mother a quick hug. “It’s good to see you again.”

“You too, dear.” The woman turned to smile at Michael, who was approaching more slowly. “And you’re Michael, right?” He nodded. “Come on in, dear. We’ll get you some blankets and warm you up.”

“I was honestly aiming for Leon,” Dimitri said, following Michael inside.

“It’s fine,” Michael said. He took off his hat and shook the snow from his hair. “Dimitri, right?”

“And I’m Nica!” The teenage girl piped up from where she was now sitting on the staircase. “The better sibling.”

“Hey!”

Fifteen minutes later, Michael was sitting in front of a fireplace, a cup of hot chocolate in his hands, and far more blankets than he needed draped over his shoulders. He’d tried telling Leon that he’d be fine with one, but he’d insisted. Leon was sitting next to him, his own mug of hot chocolate in his hands, watching Michael with careful eyes. Dimitri and Nica had taken the other sofa and were watching him curiously.

Michael glanced at Leon nervously. “Why do I feel like I’m at a job interview?”

“It is,” Nica said.

“Nica,” Leon warned.

“She’s fine.” Michael gave the siblings a friendly smile. “What do you want to know?”

This turned out to be a mistake, as Leon’s younger siblings spent the next half hour hurling question after question at Michael, only stopping when their mother called for them to help her with supper.

Michael collapsed against Leon’s shoulder. “Are they always this enthusiastic?”

“You get used to it,” he said.

* * *

“Okay, if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Michael asked.

Leon stirred his oatmeal as he considered. “The Yukon’s nice,” he said finally. “You can see the Northern Lights from there, and I think living in a cabin would be peaceful. You?”

“I would go to the other side of the Yukon,” Michael teased. “So that I can see the Lights but leave you in peace.”

Leon laughed. “I wouldn’t mind having you there. You’re peaceful.”

Michael quickly took a sip of his coffee to hide his blush. It was Christmas morning and the two of them were hiding out in the kitchen, waiting for Dimitri and Nica to come in with a report on Leon’s Christmas presents, apparently a Christmas tradition in their household. Michael had been confused at first, but upon hearing that gifts caused Leon anxiety, he’d made it his mission to keep Leon completely distracted until it was all over.

“If you could travel anywhere in the universe, where would you go?” Michael asked.

“I would stay here,” Leon said. Michael gave him a quizzical look. “I don’t like the idea of the “great unknown.” I’d rather stay right here, where it’s familiar. Or at least, where it can be made familiar.”

“You don’t think Mars could become familiar?”

Leon shook his head. “Too many variables.”

Michael grinned, his heart threatening to burst with affection. “Guess I’ll have to stay here too then.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Wouldn’t want to die on Mars without you.”

Leon laughed. Dimitri and Nica came in, both covered in tinsel from the tree. They both started talking over one another, and Leon kept having to remind them to slow down and let the other talk. Michael watched him, smiling affectionately. Here was better than Mars anyways.

* * *

New Year’s Eve was definitely the best time to have a talk with Dimitri about being gay. And it definitely wouldn’t be uncomfortable for any of the parties involved. Leon and Nica had settled into a game of chess downstairs, so Michael went upstairs to Dimitri’s room and knocked on the door. Dimitri was sitting in bed, reading. He looked up when Michael knocked.

“Hey. Got a few minutes?” Michael asked awkwardly.

“Yeah, sure.” Dimitri set down his book. Michael glanced at the title as he sat down on his bed.

“Bigfoot?”

Dimitri nodded happily. “It’s dramatized: the story of what happens when a camper gets lost in the woods and is rescued by Bigfoot. But I think it’ll still be valuable to my research.”

Michael decided not to touch that. “So… How’s school going?”

Dimitri raised an eyebrow. “Did you really come in here just to ask how school’s going?”

“Well, no, but I figured it was better to start off slow. Ease you into it.”

Dimitri crossed his arms. “What did Leon send you here for?”

“Damn. You saw right through me. Okay, so, um, apparently you’ve been talking a lot about a boy from your class in your letters, and Leon was worried- Wait, no, that came out wrong. He was concerned- Nope, still bad. He, um, uh.” Michael couldn’t stop himself from rambling.

Dimitri’s olive skin had gone pale. “He noticed that?”

“Yes. But don’t worry! He’s fine with it! With you being gay, I mean. He doesn’t mind at all.”

He groaned and buried his face in his pillow. “Oh my god. And he sent you to talk to me about it? Cause he’s “fine” with it?”

“No! No, he sent me here cause I’m pan,” Michael said.

Dimitri peeked out at him. “You’re what?”

“Pan. Pansexual. I like all genders. He figured that I might be able to help you.”

Dimitri sat up. “You’re gay?”

“Yeah.”

“And Leon knows that?”

“Yep.”

“And he’s okay with it? Like, actually okay with it?”

“Yeah. Why, did you think he wouldn’t be?”

Dimitri shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s scary. I keep putting off telling him and Mom cause even though I _know_ they’ll be fine with it…”

“There’s always the chance they won’t be,” Michael finished for him. Dimitri nodded. “That’s a perfectly normal way to feel. A lot of people feel like that when they first come out. Heck, I still feel that way a lot of the time.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be making me feel better about being gay?”

Michael sighed and fell back on the bed. “I told Leon it was a bad idea.”

Dimitri rested his chin on his knees, frowning. “Why didn’t he just talk to me himself? If he’s fine with it.”

“He wasn’t sure what to say. He’s straight, he doesn’t realize that all he has to say is ‘I love and accept you.’” Michael gave Dimitri a serious look. “You’re about to realize that for all they make fun of how “dramatic” we are, straight people are fucking ridiculous.”

Dimitri laughed. “How did you tell him?”

“I didn’t. He just sort of guessed. Same thing as you, I guess.” Michael frowned thoughtfully. “He’s awfully observant for someone so oblivious.”

“You like him, don’t you?”

He sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Hm.” Dimitri traced the pattern on the quilt thoughtfully for a minute. “How do I tell him? Do I have to tell him anymore? What’s the next step?”

“Have you told anyone else?”

“Just Nica.”

“You should probably talk to your mother then. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Just go up to her and say ‘Hey Mom, by the way, I’m gay.’”

“You make it sound so easy,” Dimitri said.

“I know it’s a lot harder than it sounds. But it seems like most of your family already knows. You’ll feel a lot better once it’s officially out in the open,” Michael said.

“I guess so.” Dimitri got up and walked across the room. He paused in the doorway. “Thanks. I really appreciate you talking to me.”

“Sure thing, bud.”

* * *

Michael wasn’t expecting Nica to sit down next to him and say, “So you’re gay too, huh?” but sometimes life just happens.

“Uh, yeah. Pansexual technically, but yeah,” he said.

“Hm. What’s pansexual?” she asked. After hearing Michael’s explanation, she considered for a moment before saying, “I like that. Can I be that?”

“I mean… If you feel like it describes you, then sure.”

“Sweet.” She got up and walked off.

Michael went upstairs to the room he was sharing with Leon. “I think I just helped your other sibling deal with her sexual identity crisis before it even happened.”

Leon laughed. “You’re on a roll.”

“Yeah, now all I have to do is turn you gay,” Michael teased, his cheeks warm.

The tips of Leon’s ears turned red. “Yeah,” he said, his voice unsteady. Michael raised an eyebrow. “So what’s Nica?”

“She’s decided that she likes the sound of pansexual,” Michael said. He sat down on the bed next to Leon, resting his cheek against his shoulder. “What are you reading?”

“One of the novels we’ll be studying next semester. I figured it was smart to get ahead while I’ve got the time.”

Michael groaned. “No! This is break time! You’re supposed to be doing break stuff! Come on!”

He grabbed Leon’s hand and pulled him downstairs, calling for Nica and Dimitri as he went. He handed Leon his coat. “Get dressed. We’re having a snowball fight.”

“We’re nineteen years old, Michael. We’re too old for snowball fights,” he said.

“If anything, we’re the perfect age for snowball fights,” Michael argued. “Boots on, let’s go.”

The four of them went outside, bundled up under as many layers as they could find. Michael and Dimitri headed for the backyard, while Leon and Nica began building a fort in the front.

“So what’s the plan?” Michael asked as he closed the gate.

“You’re putting me in charge?” Dimitri asked.

“Sure. You know both your siblings better than I do. You know what they’re likely to try.”

Dimitri considered for a moment. “Nica’s likely to try to ambush us, but Leon would want to stay in their fort and wait for us to come to them so that they can pick us off. We’ll want to build some cover, but something we can move if we end up needing to go to them.”

Michael picked up a sled. “How about this?”

Dimitri grinned. “Perfect.”

They set up two of the sleds as a protective barrier in front of themselves and set to work building a pile of snowballs on the third. Once they had a decent pile, Michael led the way back to the front of the house, tugging the sled of snowballs behind him, another sled held up protectively in front of him. Dimitri brought up the rear. As soon as they rounded the corner of the house, Nica yelled, “I told you they’d be coming!” and leapt over the wall of their fort to go running at Dimitri. He barely had time to grab a snowball before she’d tackled him to the ground and shoved his face into the snow. Dimitri reached back and pulled Nica down beside him by her hood.

Michael was wondering if he should pull them apart when a snowball thunked firmly against his sled. He peeked over it to Leon standing up in the fort, two more snowballs in his hands. Michael narrowed his eyes. “Oh, so it’s like that, is it?”

“It’s a snowball fight, Michael,” Leon said simply before throwing the snowballs one after another at Michael’s head. Michael ducked quickly at the snowballs whizzed over his head.

He dropped his sled and raced towards the fort. “You’re going to eat snow, Stamatis!”

“Since when was I Stamatis?” Leon asked, stepping easily out of the way as Michael awkwardly scrambled over the fort wall. He grabbed a couple more snowballs and dropped them directly on Michael’s head. “I believe that means that your team’s-“

Leon’s boast cut off with a yelp as Michael tackled him to the ground and began shovelling snow into his hood. “What was that?” Michael teased, yanking the hood over Leon’s head.

Leon sputtered and attempted to shake the snow out of his hair, succeeding only in sending it down his neck. “Oh, I see. We’re playing to the death, huh?”

A second later Michael found himself on his back, pinned to the ground with Leon hovering over him. Leon’s teeth flashed as he grinned. “You’re going to have to surrender.”

Michael squirmed, trying to find a way out, but Leon had him pinned solidly and all he managed to do was grind against him. Not a good thing. Michael froze. “I-I surrender.”

Leon frowned. “That was easier than I was expecting. You okay?”

“J-Just… Just cold.” _Get off, get off, get off,_ Michael thought urgently.

Leon frowned and stood up. Michael sighed, relieved and disappointed at the same time. “Do you want to go inside? We could… watch a movie.” Leon said this last bit through gritted teeth and Michael smiled.

“You want to go back to your book, don’t you?”

Leon hesitated. “It was my plan for the afternoon.”

Michael felt his heart swell with affection. “I’m sorry to have torn you away from it. How about a compromise?”

Twenty minutes later, Michael was stretched out on the couch in the basement, his head in Leon’s lap and _The Lion King_ playing on the tv. Leon was reading his book, absentmindedly stroking Michael’s hair.

“I don’t think this is what a compromise is, Michael,” he murmured.

Michael closed his eyes and hummed happily. “I’m happy. You get to stick to your schedule. It all works out in my opinion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr @thenightcrowd


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cw for mentions of sexual assault (nothing graphic)

It was two weeks into the winter semester. Michael was already bored. He needed action. He needed adventure. He really, really needed a drink.

He’d run into Trevor at the library earlier and his former roommate had invited him to a party at his frat house. Michael had told him that he’d think about the invite, and he’d certainly done that. On one hand, he’d barely seen Trevor since they’d stopped living together and he missed his friend. The party would be a good opportunity to spend time with him again. It would also fulfill his need for action. But on the other hand, the party would certainly have alcohol and Michael wasn’t sure he was strong enough to resist the temptation.

Which was how he found himself sitting down on Leon Stamatis’ bed and asking him to go to a frat party.

“You want me to go where?” Leon asked incredulously.

“To a frat party,” Michael repeated. “I want to go, but if I go, I’ll drink. If you’re there with me, I won’t drink.”

“Why don’t you just not go?”

“Because I’m bored! I need something to do that’s not homework or solitaire or drawing. I am. So bored, Leon. So bored.”

Michael could have sworn he saw the corner of Leon’s mouth lift up slightly at that. “I’ve noticed. Fine. I’ll go with you.”

Michael beamed and hugged him. “Thank you!”

Leon hesitated before patting Michael on the back. “Of course. Anything for you.”

Michael’s heart fluttered. “You have to actually look the part though. No one would believe you belong at a frat party if you showed up looking like that.”

Leon looked down at his button up shirt and suspenders. “What’s wrong with the way I dress?”

“You look like a nerd. And I love your nerd look, but it is decidedly not a frat boy look.”

“I don’t think I have anything… frat boy.”

“Just wear your button up open over a t-shirt. It’s not super frat boy, but it’s better than your nerd look.”

“Hm. Fine.”

Leon slid his suspenders off his shoulders and Michael looked away quickly, busying himself with rifling through his closet for something appropriate for himself.

“Okay, how’s this?” Leon asked. Michael turned around and his heart stopped. Leon somehow still managed to look hot even when he was awkwardly playing with the buttons on his shirt, frowning. “This feels wrong.”

“Uhhh…” Michael couldn’t make his brain connect to his mouth.

Leon noticed the look Michael was giving him. “Is it that bad?”

Michael snapped out of it. “No. Uh. You just. Um. You need to fix your hair!”

He reached up and ruffled Leon’s perfectly styled hair into a spiky mess. Leon growled slightly. “I don’t like this.”

Michael paused. “Do you want me to stop?”

Leon sighed. “No. You may continue.”

Michael smiled and continued to mess with Leon’s hair, trying to get it stylishly messy. Leon had impossibly soft hair, and Michael wondered why he’d never touched it before. Likely because Leon would have grumbled if he had messed it up. The temptation to just keep running his hands through it was strong, but Michael stopped once Leon looked sufficiently frat boy-y enough to not completely stand out.

“How’s that?” he asked.

“You tell me,” Leon said.

“You look like a hot asshole,” Michael said. Leon looked unfairly hot as a douchy frat boy, but Michael still thought that his usual buttoned up stern look was hotter. “Perfect.”

Leon huffed in annoyance. “Let’s just go.”

Trevor’s frat house was one of the bigger partiers, so there were people already spread out on the lawn when they arrived. Leon wrinkled his nose. “This is really what you were looking forward to?”

“It’s more fun when you’re drunk,” Michael said, stepping over an abandoned Solo cup.

“Hm.” Leon cast a distasteful look at the cup. “That can be recycled.” He looked back at Michael, serious. “You won’t be getting drunk tonight though.”

“Of course not. That’s what you’re here for.”

“So then what’s the appeal?”

Michael grinned at Leon. “Hot people and antics.”

They stepped into the house and Michael was almost immediately pulled away from Leon by the crowd. He grabbed Leon’s hand to prevent that from happening. “Let’s find Trevor!” he shouted over the music.

Leon squeezed Michael’s hand tightly. “Okay.”

Michael shoved his way through the crowd into the kitchen. He spotted Pierce, one of Trevor’s frat brothers, standing by the sink, a beer in one hand and an arm around a pretty girl. Michael waved at him. “Hey Pierce! Where’s Trevor?”

“Fuck if I know, probably doing a keg stand or some shit outside,” Pierce said.

“Thanks man.” Michael started back towards the backyard, but Leon paused to hand a small foil package to Pierce. Michael raised an eyebrow but waited until they were outside to ask, “Did you just give him a condom?”

“It’s important to practice safe sexual practices, Michael.”

“Did you just bring a bunch of condoms to give to people?”

Leon subtly slid a condom into the jacket pocket of a frat brother they passed. “Yes.”

Michael stared at him for a moment in a mixture of astonishment and adoration. Only Leon would think to bring condoms to a frat party to hand out to other people. Only Leon.

“Mikey boy!” Trevor’s shout from across the backyard was audible even over the blasting music. He was standing under a tree with a group of people. “Come do a keg stand! Bet you can’t flip into it!”

“I’ll take that-“ Michael started only to stop when Leon put a hand on his arm. He took a deep breath. “Actually Trev, I’m good.”

“Suit yourself, bud!” Trevor grabbed the edge of the keg and allowed himself to be lifted up into a handstand by a couple of the people standing around. Michael whooped along with the crowd and Leon let go of his arm.

“Hi pretty boy.” A girl with dark curls appeared next to Michael and smiled sweetly at him. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty great, how about you?” Michael said, smiling widely back.

“I’m doing amazing. I’m Amber.”

“Michael.”

“You want a drink, Michael?” Amber asked.

“Yeah, sure!”

“Michael-“ Leon began.

“Relax,” Michael said. “I’ll just grab a ginger ale.”

Amber tilted her head to the side, exposing the curve of her neck. “Not a drinker?”

“Not really,” Michael said.

“Hm. Well, why don’t we grab you a ginger ale and go somewhere a little quieter?” she asked.

Michael glanced at Leon. His face was unreadable as he said, “He’s not interested.”

“What, and you speak for him?” Amber said.

Leon turned to Michael. “Michael, I don’t think this is a good idea-“

“Hey, what’s your problem, man? He your boyfriend or something?” Michael’s stomach lurched.

Leon stared at her. “No.”

Amber scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. There’s tons of guys at this party, I don’t have to waste my time with a couple of-“

“Can you just leave?” Michael snapped, annoyed.

Amber rolled her eyes again before stomping off. Michael scowled and crossed his arms. “She’s an asshole, Michael. Ignore her,” Leon said.

“Whatever, I’m getting something to drink.” Michael started back up towards the house. Leon rushed after him.

“Michael. Michael, that’s a bad idea.”

“This whole thing was a bad idea!” he snapped. “I should have just listened to you and stayed in, but of course I didn’t because I’m an idiot and-“

Leon grabbed his shoulders and turned him to face him. He stared into Michael’s eyes with his stern amber ones. “Michael, you’re not an idiot. You’re just upset. This is triggering for you and we should leave.”

Michael sighed and took a deep breath. “Fine. You’re probably right. But where are we gonna go?”

“Home. Let’s go home and… And I don’t know! Whatever you want!” Leon looked desperate. Michael had never seen him look desperate before.

“What I want is a drink.” He wrenched himself out of Leon’s grip and shoved through the crowd to try to get to the kitchen. Leon followed after him, calling his name. Michael was almost at the kitchen when he noticed a boy and a girl standing near the staircase. The boy had his arm around the girl, who looked uncomfortable and kept taking his hand off her shoulders only for him to put it right back again. Michael changed directions to head towards them. As he got closer, he picked up what they were saying.

“-don’t want to,” the girl said as she swatted the boy’s hand away.

“Come on, don’t be such a prude. You did it last time.” The boy put his hand back. The girl tried to squirm away.

“I don’t feel like it now though,” she said.

“Really? What’s changed between now and then?” The boy’s hand slid down the girl’s back. Michael reached them.

“Hey asshole!” he yelled. “She said no! Back off!”

The boy’s eyes flashed and Michael felt Leon grab his arm. He shook him off. “Why don’t you back off? This has nothing to do with you.”

“She doesn’t want to sleep with you. Get over it and walk away,” Michael snapped.

The boy stepped towards him. “Yeah? And why should I do that?”

“For fuck’s-“ Michael muttered. He’d had enough of this stupid night. “Just walk away!”

“Make me.”

Michael swore and swung at him, his fist connecting squarely with the asshole’s face. He fell, blood spurting from his nose. The girl shrieked and jumped backwards. The partygoers around them shouted and began whispering to each other. Leon grabbed Michael’s arm and pulled firmly. “We’re leaving. Now.” He looked at the girl. “You’ll be okay?”

She nodded, her eyes wide.

“Fantastic.” Leon dragged Michael outside by the arm. Michael let himself be pulled until they reached the end of the street and Leon let go of him. “You complete and utter dumbass.”

Michael scowled and crossed his arms. “I was just trying to protect her.”

“Yeah. I saw that.”

“He wasn’t leaving her alone.”

“I know.”

“Then what’s the problem?!” Michael exploded. “What did I do wrong?!”

“Michael, you just assaulted someone.”

“He was going to assault her!”

“I know. But you would still be charged with a crime.”

“That’s bullshit!”

“Michael, stop shouting.”

“No! Fuck you! I’ll shout if I want to!”

Leon took a deep breath. “Michael. You are upset. You’ve just been triggered pretty badly. We need to go home-“

Michael scoffed. “Fuck you. I’m not going anywhere with you. You’re a fucking asshole.” Anger churned in Michael’s stomach. It had a chokehold around his throat. He couldn’t breathe.

“Michael. Please. Just let me take you home. Let me help.” Leon reached out for him and Michael pushed him away as hard as he could. Leon fell down, grunting as his elbow scrapped the ground.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” Michael yelled. “I never _asked_ you to help me! I never _asked_ you to be a part of my life! I’m not your fucking problem! Just… stop babysitting me! I’m not your fucking siblings, you don’t have to pretend to be a father! Fuck off!”

Leon flinched. “Michael-“

“No! Shut up!” Michael turned and stormed down the street. “Just leave me alone, fuck!”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr @thenightcrowd


End file.
